Tintonkkamwee is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, omniscient owl.

Tintonkkamwee created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tintonkkamwee, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tintonkkamwee, he will destroy your home planet.

Tintonkkamwee's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Tintonkkamwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of squirrels.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Always look after injured sheep.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Never mention monkeys.