Lindumstip is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, thoughtless elephant.

Lindumstip created parasitic wasps eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lindumstip, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lindumstip, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Lindumstip's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Lindumstip's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

2. Never think about dark energy near grasshopers while wearing purple shoes and balancing seven gold spheres on your legs.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Do not take Lindumstip's name in vain.