Flowgar is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, grumpy grasshopper.

Flowgar created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flowgar, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flowgar, she will refuse to believe in you.

Flowgar's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Flowgar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Flowgar in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near snails while wearing blue jumpers.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.