Stanstragbab is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, flying seal.

Stanstragbab created a charm quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanstragbab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stanstragbab, she will turn you into a tree.

Stanstragbab's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Stanstragbab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not hurt tapirs.

3. Never think about gravity near swans while wearing white hats and balancing five copper spheres on your hands.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Stanstragbab on top of all buildings.

5. Always look after injured birds.