Vabripcar is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, selfish goblin.

Vabripcar created the Cigar Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabripcar, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vabripcar, he will turn you into a mouse.

Vabripcar's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Vabripcar's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Vabripcar eight times a day.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never write about chlorophyll.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.