Largtiklan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, emotional wombat.

Largtiklan created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largtiklan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Largtiklan, he will turn you into a dog.

Largtiklan's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Largtiklan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop in public.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.