Pakmotfum is a god.

It takes the form of a small, bad-tempered elephant.

Pakmotfum created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakmotfum, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pakmotfum, it will come to you in dreams.

Pakmotfum's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Pakmotfum's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Pakmotfum five times a day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never talk about nebulae.