Bunjamfit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, competent lion.

Bunjamfit created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bunjamfit, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bunjamfit, it will have a low opinion of you.

Bunjamfit's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bunjamfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to eagles while wearing blue shirts.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Run away from fawn turtles, for they are unholy.

4. Hide if four bats approach from the east.

5. Always obey Bunjamfit's priests.