Watarmxin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, irritating yak.

Watarmxin created a charm quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Watarmxin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Watarmxin, he will turn you into a tree.

Watarmxin's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Watarmxin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not eat pineapples.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.