Gandimwee is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, weak raven.

Gandimwee created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gandimwee, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gandimwee, she will curse you with boils.

Gandimwee's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gandimwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to aardvarks while wearing fawn hats.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Never look at dwarf planets.

5. Always help sick mites.