Bitgupzen is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, egotistical finch.

Bitgupzen created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitgupzen, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bitgupzen, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bitgupzen's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Bitgupzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Bitgupzen loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not listen to music.