Mincengarlunzimlik is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, all-powerful octopus.

Mincengarlunzimlik created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mincengarlunzimlik, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mincengarlunzimlik, it will turn you into a tree.

Mincengarlunzimlik's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Mincengarlunzimlik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Never think about dark matter near seals while wearing fawn corsets and balancing six lead spheres on your hands.

4. Turtles are not to be trusted.

5. Do not shave your legs.