Nurbetlin is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, compassionate monkey.

Nurbetlin created the Sol system eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurbetlin, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nurbetlin, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Nurbetlin's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Nurbetlin's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not take Nurbetlin's name in vain.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Never sprint near moths.