Gunbemzigwikbassqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, thoughtless ant.

Gunbemzigwikbassqueeg created the Cigar Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunbemzigwikbassqueeg, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gunbemzigwikbassqueeg, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gunbemzigwikbassqueeg's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gunbemzigwikbassqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Never feed cucumbers to manatees while wearing ear rings.

3. Never paint your chest orange.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never look at comets.