Funlinstip is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, quiet hippopotamus.

Funlinstip created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Funlinstip, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Funlinstip, it will turn you into a rat.

Funlinstip's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Funlinstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never mention sharks.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.