Gonsafyampadnegbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omniscient hamster.

Gonsafyampadnegbonk created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonsafyampadnegbonk, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gonsafyampadnegbonk, he will not care at all.

Gonsafyampadnegbonk's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gonsafyampadnegbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near badgers while wearing violet shoes and balancing nine titanium spheres on your feet.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Feed all hungry frogs.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.