Yarbunkon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate swallow.

Yarbunkon created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarbunkon, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarbunkon, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Yarbunkon's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yarbunkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about tomatoes.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

3. Never run in the presence of tapirs.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never think ill of sick badgers.