Cadkencam is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, competent lobster.

Cadkencam created bats four years ago.

If you believe in Cadkencam, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cadkencam, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Cadkencam's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Cadkencam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray ear rings.

2. Cadkencam loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

3. Run away if nine porpoises approach from the north.

4. Always treat sharks with great respect.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.