Ripvagjan is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonest beaver.

Ripvagjan created the Cigar Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripvagjan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ripvagjan, it will turn you into a worm.

Ripvagjan's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ripvagjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick swans.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not eat turnips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.