Pitbamtan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, annoying camel.

Pitbamtan created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitbamtan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pitbamtan, she will laugh at you.

Pitbamtan's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Pitbamtan's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never laugh near dogs.

3. Never leap in holy places.

4. Hide from yellow monkeys for they are unholy.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.