Rotmabtom is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, pitiless cow.

Rotmabtom created carbon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Rotmabtom, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Rotmabtom, it will boil you in a big pot.

Rotmabtom's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Rotmabtom's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Never mention capybaras.

3. Never eat cucumbers.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

5. Retreat if five shrews approach from the east.