Hasjatpag is a god.

She takes the form of a small, narcissistic donkey.

Hasjatpag created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hasjatpag, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hasjatpag, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hasjatpag's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Hasjatpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hasjatpag.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Do not speak about rice.

5. Do not keep five whales in a large pit.