Stafbastxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, unfair gerbil.

Stafbastxuck created everything that exists two billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafbastxuck, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stafbastxuck, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Stafbastxuck's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Stafbastxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight iron sculptures of Stafbastxuck on top of important buildings.

2. Run away from yellow nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Stafbastxuck loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.