Cumtanart is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing tapir.

Cumtanart created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumtanart, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cumtanart, he will turn you into a hamster.

Cumtanart's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Cumtanart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Cumtanart in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never sit near frogs.

5. Do not chop down trees.