Zakabhak is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, self-assured wren.

Zakabhak created silver two million years ago.

If you believe in Zakabhak, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zakabhak, it will torture you forever.

Zakabhak's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Zakabhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick eagles.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always help goats.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about black holes.