Fonbegkad is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, narcissistic turtle.

Fonbegkad created energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonbegkad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fonbegkad, he will destroy your home planet.

Fonbegkad's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Fonbegkad's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Fonbegkad.

2. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.