Zedrapsinrutganlat is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, resourceful dolphin.

Zedrapsinrutganlat created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedrapsinrutganlat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zedrapsinrutganlat, she will ignore you.

Zedrapsinrutganlat's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Zedrapsinrutganlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Retreat if seven grasshopers approach from the west.