Jatlibhanmot is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, intelligent lobster.

Jatlibhanmot created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jatlibhanmot, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jatlibhanmot, she will think nothing of it.

Jatlibhanmot's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Jatlibhanmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about archaea.

2. Never skip in the presence of ants.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jatlibhanmot.

5. Jatlibhanmot loves seals, so they must be honoured.