Vegmadkam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, duplicitous skunk.

Vegmadkam created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegmadkam, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vegmadkam, she will destroy your home solar system.

Vegmadkam's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vegmadkam's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Vegmadkam eight times a day.

2. Vegmadkam loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Do not eat pineapples.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.