Appgofsan Lidquartkarfossbumhatyart is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish bee.

Appgofsan Lidquartkarfossbumhatyart created everything that exists two billion years ago.

If you believe in Appgofsan Lidquartkarfossbumhatyart, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Appgofsan Lidquartkarfossbumhatyart, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Appgofsan Lidquartkarfossbumhatyart's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Appgofsan Lidquartkarfossbumhatyart's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from magenta gulls, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Always help turtles in need.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.