Miftofcip Lakortsid is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, irritating whale.

Miftofcip Lakortsid created an electron two million years ago.

If you believe in Miftofcip Lakortsid, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Miftofcip Lakortsid, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Miftofcip Lakortsid's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Miftofcip Lakortsid's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine eagles approach from the east.

2. You must love Miftofcip Lakortsid.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Always take life seriously.