Arnjontab is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, grumpy skunk.

Arnjontab created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Arnjontab, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Arnjontab, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Arnjontab's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Arnjontab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never feed lots of cherries to whales while wearing orange boots.

3. Put Arnjontab first in all things.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always wear mauve.