Dibomtcan is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, generous mouse.

Dibomtcan created Europe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibomtcan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dibomtcan, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dibomtcan's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Dibomtcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about spacetime near mice while wearing white tights and balancing nine copper spheres on your face.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Put Dibomtcan first in all things.