Higgartarp is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic octopus.

Higgartarp created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Higgartarp, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Higgartarp, she will think nothing of it.

Higgartarp's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Higgartarp's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never hurt pigs.

3. Run away if eight tapirs approach from the north.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.