Farpinpid is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, competent porpoise.

Farpinpid created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Farpinpid, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Farpinpid, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Farpinpid's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Farpinpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cucumbers.

2. Hide if three manatees approach from the west.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Farpinpid on top of all buildings.