Timhivgen is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, able spider.

Timhivgen created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timhivgen, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Timhivgen, she will think nothing of it.

Timhivgen's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Timhivgen's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Timhivgen.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Timhivgen.

3. You must pray to Timhivgen six times a day.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed rice to tapirs while wearing trousers.