Vogcunwigtarg is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, compassionate squid.

Vogcunwigtarg created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogcunwigtarg, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vogcunwigtarg, it will strike you with lightening.

Vogcunwigtarg's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Vogcunwigtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sheep in need.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Feed all hungry squirrels.

4. You must pray to Vogcunwigtarg six times a day.

5. Never think about eukaryotes.