Hadpakbif is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, ill-tempered meerkat.

Hadpakbif created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Hadpakbif, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hadpakbif, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hadpakbif's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Hadpakbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat moths with great respect.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Never feed gooseberries to dogs while wearing black ear rings.