Tunlunyim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, sapient monkey.

Tunlunyim created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tunlunyim, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tunlunyim, she will boil you in a big pot.

Tunlunyim's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Tunlunyim's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tunlunyim's priests.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near snakes while wearing pink shorts and balancing three nickel spheres on your head.

3. Never sprint in holy places.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

5. Worship no other gods but Tunlunyim.