Arfflyvil is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, humane hummingbird.

Arfflyvil created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfflyvil, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arfflyvil, he will send you a sign.

Arfflyvil's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Arfflyvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap near dogs.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Arfflyvil.