Gutzentik is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unselfish dragon.

Gutzentik created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutzentik, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gutzentik, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gutzentik's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gutzentik's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Erect a giant white sculpture of Gutzentik in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.