Hitnellib is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, compassionate warg.

Hitnellib created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Hitnellib, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hitnellib, he will turn you into a plant.

Hitnellib's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Hitnellib's Holy Commandments

1. Hitnellib loves goats, so they must be honoured.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Hitnellib in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.