Hakbumtof is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humane naga.

Hakbumtof created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Hakbumtof, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Hakbumtof, he will be very sad.

Hakbumtof's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Hakbumtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

3. Never eat cherries.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never think about black holes.