Futhubgat is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, slow snail.

Futhubgat created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futhubgat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Futhubgat, it will turn you into a mouse.

Futhubgat's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Futhubgat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never jump near shrews.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near foxes while wearing mauve jumpers and balancing three titanium spheres on your hands.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Tortoises are not to be trusted.