Yamhangonkam is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, smart seal.

Yamhangonkam created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yamhangonkam, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yamhangonkam, he will turn you into a rat.

Yamhangonkam's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Yamhangonkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head blue.

2. Never think ill of sick whales.

3. Always help porpoises in need.

4. Never jump near sharks.

5. Always wear red.