Kapvagshav Midbestgid is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, effective rhinoceros.

Kapvagshav Midbestgid created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Kapvagshav Midbestgid, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kapvagshav Midbestgid, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Kapvagshav Midbestgid's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Kapvagshav Midbestgid's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry gulls.

2. Do not keep eight monkeys in a large pit.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.