Ditbisstikrut is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, caring salamander.

Ditbisstikrut created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditbisstikrut, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ditbisstikrut, she will turn you into a hamster.

Ditbisstikrut's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Ditbisstikrut's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick mites.

2. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Ditbisstikrut on top of important buildings.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always treat turtles with great respect.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.