Bemrapgab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, egotistical wolf.

Bemrapgab created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemrapgab, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bemrapgab, she will torture you forever.

Bemrapgab's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bemrapgab's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bemrapgab eight times a day.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

4. Never wear indigo coats.

5. Worship no other gods but Bemrapgab.