Hatpadfit is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, overgenerous mink.

Hatpadfit created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatpadfit, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hatpadfit, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Hatpadfit's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Hatpadfit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Hatpadfit must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

5. Do not covet oxen.