Dogdanmap Pibmillatrip is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, idiotic alligator.

Dogdanmap Pibmillatrip created the planet Mars nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dogdanmap Pibmillatrip, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dogdanmap Pibmillatrip, it will turn you into a mole.

Dogdanmap Pibmillatrip's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Dogdanmap Pibmillatrip's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never eat cucumbers.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never sprint in the presence of dogs.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.